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Before we continue, I solemnly swear that this is all factually correct and not at all a made-up account playing off the stereotypes I have encountered when asked these questions. Nothing quite gets you in the mood for bum fun more than a lace-front wig and a cocktail in the Interior Illusions Lounge. Once the lip sync is over, we take things into the bedroom and really move things up a gear But if you want extra brownie points, then a diva number from the likes of Mariah or Whitney will take you far.

While straight people rip clothes off in the throes of passion, gay men stand side by side and remove each article of clothing with care and grace.

Mythbusting: What Gay Men Really Do In Bed

Followed by a shower of glitter that rains down on us to bind us together in gay sex forever. Share On facebook Share On facebook Share.

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We can even "flip-flop," which means you each get a turn penetrating in one or more of these positions. It might take a little more dexterity to pull them off, but shhh, that's why all gay men are so jacked. Think of that move as the opposite of a slip-and-slide.


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That's a man's ass. There's no natural lubricant in the equation here, including saliva. Store-bought lube is absolutely essential if you want to avoid tearing and general discomfort. Yes, I'm talking about poop. It isn't an inevitability, but it's certainly a possibility , and that's OK.

There's More Than One Way for Gay Men to Have Sex - GQ

As we all learned from the trenchant children's book Everybody Poops , everybody poops. You just shouldn't eat, say, a Chipotle burrito with extra guac or a heaping plate of Indian curry right before you have sex. And you should maybe take an extra minute to ensure you're all clean downstairs. Some men even use a douche or enema beforehand to clean those hard-to-reach spots.


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It might not be super sexy, but it's better than the alternative. Gay sex isn't Nike: You can't just do it. As I've mentioned, you have to think about things. What did you eat last night? How clean are you? Is there lube nearby?

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Anal is a bit more complicated and often more painful than vaginal sex. Therefore, gay men don't always have the luxury of getting it on at the drop of a hat.

Sometimes penetration isn't even in the cards. Maybe you don't really enjoy anal, or you have a medical issue like IBS. Of course, culturally and historically, gay men have been narrowed down where the act of sex itself defines us. But really, if we minimize anal sex and place it on the same shelf as oral or masturbation, how much pressure would that alleviate? Personally, I found the guiding cultural nudge towards anal sex immensely stressful that it diminished the joyous faucets of sexual expression.

Being gay can be hard enough by itself without then also worrying about the pressures from within our own community to conform to some sort of standard.